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當 Leigh Chivers 衝線時,他多麼的希望太太和細仔在終點等候他,他倆能夠給他一個堅實的擁抱。但這永遠都不會發生,因為癌症已經帶走了他們。Leigh Chivers 是帶著無盡哀傷完走的。
神不會給你超過你能承受的,真的嗎?
Leigh Chivers 一家四口本來其樂融融,臉上綻開的笑容和盛開的花朵一樣燦爛。Leigh 的太太是34歲的 Sara,同樣熱愛三項鐵人運動,Leigh 和 Sarah 是匹配到連個天都會妒忌的。他有兩個兒子: 哥哥Hugh,3歲; 弟弟 Alfie,18個月大。
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Sara Chivers 在2008年3月,被第一次確診為患有一種無法治癒的腦腫瘤。2017年3月,她得知自己腦癌復發,長出了三個惡性腦腫瘤。Sara 要再次接受無比痛苦的治療,雖然看起來她還是像8年前與癌症對抗那樣的樂觀,但她不知道自己到底還能剩下多久的生命,每一天她的身體都會遇到新的問題,病情正在持續惡化中。
命運弄人,同年9月,Sara發現細仔有一半身體不能動,小小的身軀開始抽搐,她只好馬上抱著 Alfie 衝去醫院。
晴天霹靂,診斷結果給 Sarah 一個噩耗: 18個月大的Alfie也患有腦癌。Sara表示:「Alfie的人生還沒真正開始,可能就要結束了。儘管這很悲傷。但我們要緊握現在的每分每秒。」
之後,Sara 竭盡全力地要醫好 Alfie,為了讓他戰勝癌病的機會提高那怕一點點,蹣跚學步的 Alfie 已經進行了3次清除腦部的液體手術。但不幸的是, Alfie 最終還是沒能挺過來。
由於 Sara 的腫瘤無法治癒,12月她住進了善終寧養院。Sara 在與癌症鬥爭了9年後, 於2018年1月28日去世,更令人痛心的是 Alfie 在6月離去。母子二人在相差5個月的時間內相繼離世, 對這個家庭來說無疑是個非常沉重的打擊。
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在母子二人離開後, Leigh 和大仔 Hugh 感到非常難過, 他們向媒體公開了家人與癌症鬥爭的過程, 並希望可以為癌症研究籌集資金, 希望不再有人承受和他們一樣的痛苦。
跟妳一起玩三項鐵人賽是最快樂
臨終時 Sarah 要 Leigh 答應她完成Kona鐵人世錦賽的夢想,因為三項鐵人運動滿載了他倆的快樂回憶。Leigh 本打算在 Cairns 三項鐵人賽取得參賽資格,可惜太太和兒子離世的沉重打擊,令 Leigh 完成了游泳和單車項目後便棄賽。
Sarah 的在天之靈一直在守護著 Leigh。Dan Berglund,Tampa 鐵人賽的傳訊總監令 Leigh 夢想成真。Leigh本 來在2014年有機會參加 Kona 鐵人賽,但因為大仔 Hugh 生病而DNS。Dan Berglund 決定頒予 Leigh 2018年 Kona 四十周年鐵人賽大使參賽資格。競逐時間之外,鐵人賽更重視人性中光輝的一面,在逆境前誓不低頭,Leigh Chivers 展示了鋼鐵一樣的堅強。
Leigh Chivers 不負眾望,在 Patrick Lange 創造了sub-8紀錄之後個多小時衝線。
一封感人至深的告別信
Sara Chivers 知道自己來日不多,為了能夠讓兒子將來長大時「見到」媽咪,Sara 決定給他們寫一封信,後來這封讓人痛徹心扉的信 go viral。這是一封亞洲『虎媽』、香港『贏在射精前』的怪獸家長寫不出的正常人會留給子女的愛意綿綿的信。我嘗試把信譯過來,由於中文有限,可能詞不達意,還是看英文較好,原文連結在此。
親愛的 Hugh 和 Alfie:
我沒有機會陪伴在你們身邊,看著你們長大了。這是一件令我難以啟齒的事,甚至難以面對。你們將不得不從別人那裡聽到那些讓我之所以成為我的小事。我喜歡的香水是 Michael Kors,我最喜歡吃肉醬意粉,我最喜歡的季節是冬天。我希望我更擅長烹飪,我喜歡收藏具紀念價值的物件 — 比如醫院的名牌,Leigh 在我21歲生日時為我寫的情詩,還有我們買的第一件BB衫。
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我知道你們的父親,我們的家人和朋友們會盡可能告訴你們媽媽仍在你們心中,但我仍想親口告訴你們一些事。
不要害怕表達自己的情感。我從來都聽不膩Leigh、你們兩個、我的家人、朋友們說的“我愛你”。
愛很難。可就像人們所說的一樣,寧願去愛然後失去,總好過從來沒有愛過。這就是我對你們倆的感情。每當想到無法參與你們未來的人生,“傷心欲絕”這個詞實在無以言表。但我永遠也不願改變或放棄我們曾一起度過的時光,以及你們帶給我無盡的歡樂。毫無疑問,你們就是我此生最引以為傲的成就。
專心學習,但也要懂得,學校生活不只是讀書。去參加隊制運動吧,嘗試學一種樂器吧,去學習一種語言吧。
永遠盡力而為; 我要求的就這麼多。不要害怕失敗 — 失敗教會你的,遠遠多於成功。世界上沒有什麼東西是不變的,只有變幻才是永恆。所以擁抱改變吧,不要懼怕嘗試新事物。盡可能去旅行 — 它會塑造你,讓你們成為你們自己。
勇敢地堅守信念,相信自己。永遠不要因為別人和你們不一樣就取笑或嘲諷他們。和那些與你們的觀點和信念不同的人來往,會讓你們成為一個更好的人。
至於餐桌禮儀有多重要,我永遠說不夠。請無時無刻記住說“請”、“謝謝”。除非另有說明,否則一定要用 “夫人”、“女士”或“先生”稱呼朋友的父母。在其他人家留宿時要自己動手鋪床,用餐之後也要主動提出幫忙收拾餐桌和洗碗。
世界上有兩種朋友,一種只能相交一時,一種卻能相伴一生,你們很快就能學會辨認誰屬於哪一種。
永遠把家庭放在第一位。我們將永遠在你們身邊,無論你們犯了錯,還是做了不好的選擇,我們都會幫你們渡過難關,與你們一同慶祝人生的勝利時刻。
對你們的爸爸好一點。他獨自撫育你倆不容易,他做什麼抉擇都是從心裡為了你們好,都是真心真意地為了你們著想的。他是一個好爸爸和榜樣。不要讓他懷疑自己,也不要讓他把你們培養成媽媽希望的男子漢責任感到為難。
也許有一天,他會希望找到一名新的伴侶,並重新獲得幸福,請你們接受並支持他的選擇,並且要知道她會給你們生活帶來積極的影響。我絕對相信她會為你們做出正確的決定,我希望,就像你們豐盛了我的人生一樣,她也能豐富你們的人生。
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你們的爸爸是我所認識的最令人敬佩、最勇敢的人。他是我的伴侶,我的磐石,我的一切。他在逆境中表現出了真正的勇氣,沒有他,我早就崩潰了。
我將永遠感恩和銘記我們共同渡過的時光,我們一起創造的回憶,我們共同擁有的愛。他一直陪伴著我,也會一直陪伴著你們。如果生命可以重來,我還是會選擇他。不管多少次,我都會選他。
愛你們的,
媽媽
Dear Hugh and Alfie,
I won’t be around to see you grow up. It’s a hard thing to say and even harder to face. You will have to hear from others the little things that made me me: my perfume of choice is Michael Kors, my favourite meal is spaghetti bolognese, winter is my preferred season. I wish I was a better cook. I’m a keeper of mementos – tiny hospital name tags, the poem Leigh wrote for my 21st birthday, first baby clothes.
I know your Dad, and our village of family and friends, will keep me alive for you as much as they can, but there are some things I want you to hear from me.
Don’t be afraid of expressing your emotions. I will never tire of hearing ‘I love you’ from Leigh, you boys, my family, friends.
Love hard. As they say, it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. That’s how I feel about you both. Heartbroken doesn’t come close to describing the pain I feel at not being in your lives in the future, but I would never change or forego the time we have spent together and the immense joy you have brought me. You are without a doubt my proudest accomplishments.
Pay attention to study but know there is so much more to school life than textbooks. Play team sports. Try a musical instrument. Learn a language.
Always try your best; I could never ask any more of you. Never fear failure – you will learn more from mistakes than successes. There’s never anything more certain than change so embrace it. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Travel as much as possible – it will shape who you are.
Be brave in your convictions and believe in yourself. Never tease or ridicule someone because they’re different to you. You will be a better person by surrounding yourself with people who will challenge your views and beliefs.
I can never emphasise enough the importance of good table manners. Remember to say please and thank you. Address your friends’ parents by Mrs, Ms or Mr unless told otherwise. Make your bed when you stay at other people’s houses, and always offer to clear their table and do the dishes.
You will have friends for a season, friends for a reason, friends for life. It won’t take too long to work out which ones fall into which category.
Family comes first. We will always be there for you to fall back on regardless of any mistakes or bad choices, and will help you through tough times and to celebrate life’s wins.
Be kind to your Dad. It won’t be easy for him raising you alone, but every decision he makes will be with your best interests at heart. He is an exceptional father and role model. Don’t let him doubt himself or the wonderful job he will do shaping you into the men I dream of you growing up to be.
There will come a time when he wants to find happiness again with a new partner. Accept and embrace his choice, and know she will be a positive female influence in your lives too. I have absolute faith that he will make the right decision, for him and you both, and I hope she enriches your lives as much as you’ve all enriched mine.
Your Dad is the most admirable, courageous man I have ever known. He is my companion, my rock, my everything. He has shown true grit in the face of our adversities, and without him beside me I would have crumbled.
I will be forever grateful for the time we spent together, the memories we created, the love we shared. It was always him. Always will be.
Love,
Mum
資料來源
- Meet IRONMAN Ambassador Leigh Chivers
- MOM WITH TERMINAL BRAIN CANCER WRITES POWERFUL LETTER TO HER SONS ABOUT EMBRACING LIFE
- ‘She would have loved it’: Leigh Chivers fulfils promise to wife and son who died of brain cancer
- After Kona,Leigh Chivers turns to face his next big challenge
- ‘Sara will be with me’: Leigh Chivers given coveted spot for iconic Hawaii triathlon
- Leigh Chivers reflects on life after losing his wife and son to brain cancer
Fitz連結: https://fitz.hk/?p=118701
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